By Dr. Chrissie Depre
There’s a moment in survival that people don’t talk about enough.
It’s not the moment you escape.
It’s not even the moment you realize you’re going to be okay.
It’s the moment you turn around.
The moment you look back at the fire you just walked out of—the chaos, the trauma, the pain—and instead of running as far away as possible…
You choose to go back.
Not to stay.
Not to relive it.
But to help someone else find their way out.
That’s advocacy.
It’s Not Born in Comfort
Advocacy isn’t something you learn from a textbook alone.
It’s not just policies, protocols, or professional titles.
It’s born in the fire.
It’s born in the moments where you weren’t believed.
Where the system failed you.
Where you stood alone, scared, and unsure if anyone was coming.
And somehow… you survived.
Not untouched.
Not unchanged.
But still standing.
Carrying Water Looks Different for Everyone
For some, carrying water means becoming the voice they never had.
For others, it means sitting quietly next to someone and saying, “I believe you.”
It looks like:
- Advocates answering late-night calls
- Officers choosing empathy over authority
- Survivors sharing their stories when it would be easier to stay silent
- Professionals fighting for policy change that most people will never see
It’s not always loud.
It’s not always recognized.
But it is always needed.
The Responsibility of Doing It Right
Here’s the truth we don’t say enough:
Going back into the fire without the right tools can cause more harm.
Advocacy requires:
- Trauma-informed understanding
- Intentional language
- Patience
- Humility
- The willingness to listen more than we speak
Because the goal isn’t to rescue.
The goal is to walk beside someone as they find their own way out.
From Survivor to Safe Place
There is something powerful about a person who has lived it… and still chooses to help.
Not because they have to.
But because they remember what it felt like to need someone.
That’s what makes survivor-led advocacy so impactful.
It’s not just knowledge.
It’s lived truth.
It’s saying:
“I’ve been there. And I’m here with you now.”
Why It Matters
Because someone is still in the fire today.
Someone is still waiting to be believed.
Still waiting for a response that doesn’t cause more harm.
Still deciding whether it’s safe to speak.
And the way we respond…
can either add fuel to the fire
or be the water that helps put it out.
💛 Final Thought
The most beautiful souls aren’t just the ones who survive.
They’re the ones who take what they’ve been through…
and use it to create safety for someone else.
So if you’ve walked through the fire—
and you’ve found yourself turning back with water—
Just know…
That’s not weakness.
That’s purpose.
Trust your gut in the situation. You’ll know what to say and when to say it!
For more information check out body-chaos.com
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